InvaderGIR
by Babagnoosh
Summary: Zim was sent to Earth to invade, but is Gir better qualified? Zim and Dib find themselves in alife and death battle... and then, there is Gaz.
1. Gir's Secret Lair

Disclaimer: I don't own InvaderZIM, but wouldn't it be cool if I did? Taking Care of Business and Mr. Roboto belong to BT-O and Styx. I am using the previous without permission, but not for profit.

B4 the story blurb: B4 u read, there are a couple things I think you should know. Not spoilers or anything, so dun worry new IZ fans! (although I am technically one.)... Ahem, here I go.

I never intended this to be so musically inclined but I decided Gir would discover music. And I know InvaderZIM isn't a Japanese show but the SIR side if Gir is smart right? So it could know many languages. Gir is so unbelievably amazing! I LUV his stupidity! And I won't hear otherwise!

I think that's it. Soooo, Enjoy My Fic! And plz don't flame me because I'm a little Gir obsessed. ' Plz Review!

Oh! One more thing! I was listening to an oldies CD when I wrote this. If you listen to Taking Care of Business while reading this it is really funny. Well, I thought it was funny, but that's my opinion, u dun gotta listen 2 me if u don't wanna... And to answer a few questions, Yes, I am Canadian. I suppose that's only one. (only few will understand the last sentence and I wont explain 2 others, it would b 2 long)

Now! On we GO!

A small green dog with an abnormally large head pranced across the street singing in a robotic tone, Suckmonkey in hand.

"Taking care of business EVERY DAY! Taking care of business EVERY WAY!"

"GIR! Where are my EYES!" Zim was preparing for a class trip to the garbage dump. "How am I supposed to conquer EARTH without my DISGUISE!" Zim's voice dropped an octave while yelling eyes.

Gir continued prancing down the street, considering he couldn't hear Zim because of the artificial eyes covering his ears, or lack there of.

"Taking care of business and working over-time, work out." Gir pried open a vent covering and jumped inside. As he was sliding he played a pretend guitar for his solo. Once Gir reached the end of the shoot he was flung in the air and fell about 50 feet into gigantic pool of water.

"Wee!" Gir floated to the edge of the pool and was picked up by a human.

"Would you like me to dry your dog suit, Master Gir?"

"(said very slowly) Yeaaaahhh... got put tit over there." The human slave put the suit on a pipe sticking out of the wall. "Or, maybe over there." The slave put it on the ground 'over there'. "No, put it there and there and there and uhh...THERE!"

The slave ended up with the suit on his head.

"We'll work on that later." Gir picked the suit off the slave.

"Listen to evil laugh Zim taught me!" Gir cleared his throat. "Heeheeheeheehee, you see, Zim goes Muhahahahaha. Then I go Heeheeheeheehee! Zim is amazing."

"Yes Master."

"Arigatou. Hey, you know what? I was sitting on a box and it started going: DOUMO ARIGATOU MISTER ROBOT, DOUMO DOUMO, Wawawa, DOUMO DOUMO--- it was so cool!"

The slave nodded in agreement.

"How is all of my minnows?" Gir started to dance in circles.

"Minions Master, minions."

"Hmmm. How is my MIN-I-ONS?"

"They are fine master."

"Good!" Gir raced towards a cliff. "I'm glad I programmed you with smartness human worm baby." Then Gir jumped off the cliff.

"WAAHOO!"

"**WAAHOO!**" A crowd of about 3 hundred human worm babies's all yelled on the top of their lungs. It seemed to be some sort of war cry.

The ground shook beneath Zim's feet. The puny extraterrestrial screamed in detest. "WHAT IS THIS MOVEMENT?" Zim was in his underground base, still looking for his disguise when the ground shook. "DIB! This must be the work of that _stupid_ human.

When will he learn, I am ZIM!"

Gaz was sitting in the kitchen playing a videogame when Dib came running in.

"Did you feel that!" Dib said between gasps of his trying to catch his breath. (He was snooping around Zim's house earlier.)

Gaz turned off her game. "Feel what Dib."

"Oh. Never mind then." Dib left the room.

Gaz sighed. "And all that effort I put into lifting my head. Now I'm mad." Gaz put her game on the table and followed Dib out the door.

"Where's the TV?" Gir was carried to a large chair covered in velvet.

"I will get it master."

washhhhoo washhhoo "There is no picture! I must see the taco man!" Gir's eyes started to water while the human moved the antenna, trying to get a better signal.

Blip The TV turned on "Get down to Krazy Tacos NOW!" Then the TV went blank.

"I will search for a new television, Master."

"No, I must obey the taco man." Gir hopped of his throne and walked towards a door labeled 'Way to Taco Man.' "TAQUITOS!"

"**TAQUITOS!**" Gir's followers all exited the tiny door in single file.

"There it is again! Everything is falling! That stupid worm baby will destroy my HOUSE!" Zim entered the elevator and came out in the living room, cursing Dib under his

breath.

"Ahhh!" Dib screamed as he fell, because of the quake.

"That's what you get for interrupting my life." Gaz mumbled under her breath. "Now to seek my revenge..."

At that moment a large crowd of humans rushed between Dib and Gaz. Dib ran into Zim's yard and avoided the garden gnomes. Zim walked out of the house.

"Ew! What are you doing on my lawn you filthy worm BABY!" Zim stood his ground in front of his 'Men' s room front door.

"I came to make you stop those quakes!" Dib stood up (because he fell when he ran away from the mob.) and approached Zim.

"Stupid human! It is YOU making those weird _quakes _as you call them."

"I would have known if it was I who was causing the quakes—unless I'm being controlled by a separate being? That could be possible! Ahem Anyway. I know you are causing them!"

"I am no—YES! Yes I am for I am the all powerful ZIM! Bow to me now!"

"But you said I was making the—"Dib looked extremely confused.

"No! I did not!" Zim's voice was very high when he said that. Zim stepped towards Dib. Now they were in each others faces.

"TAQUITOS!" Gir ran by the two, breaking up their death glares.

"Gir?" The two said together.

So that it! My first chappie! The next one will be much better... I hope. Plz review! Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!


	2. In Japan

A/N Sry it took me so long to write this chappie. I had a lot of overwhelming homework the past few days (or week). Hope fully this chappie will make more sense. And incase Ri2 reads this chappie, Gir 'acquired' his human slaves by means you do not want to know of.

"So... it is your little robot you have there making the quakes, right? You ordered him to do this. I know it! I will disable him and foil your plans of ever invading earth." Dib straitened himself up and triumphantly turned around, feeling proud that he had found the center of Zim's plan at the moment.

"No! It is _you_ causing the movements and causing my home to cave in on it self! Do not question me! I am ZIM!"

"I know you're lying Zim. I will find the end of this! I will!"

Meanwhile at the cause of all the quakes...

Gir and company had reached their destination of Krazy Taco when Gir screamed. "TACOS!"

Then everybody screamed "**TACOS!**" And the ground shook so violently because of the overwhelming sound of their voices that Krazy Taco was consumed into a gaping whole in the outer crust of Earth.

"Ta-Ta-TACOS!" Gir jumped into the crack and every single one of his slaves followed. "I will save you tacos!" Gir cried in his small robotic tone

Dib and Zim were at each others throats while Gaz sat on the street playing her Game Slave 2.

"Will you please kill each other silently? I'm in the zone."

Dib and Zim gave Gaz an odd look. She just continued staring at the screen so the Irken and the human continued to fight in their own pathetic way. Slapping and biting each other, it looked like an odd dance.

3 nights and 2 days passed with no change. Somehow the filthy Dib monkey stayed awake during their battle. Maybe it was because of his overage on coffee the day the earthquakes stared, but its affect was wearing off.

Dib's eyes were drooping and he was not only fighting Zim, but he was fighting staying awake.

"Ha! You pathetic worm baby! You are no match for ZIM!" Zim screamed in Dib's face for the millionth time.

"I will beat you Zim... I... will..." Dib fell over onto the pavement in slumber.

"Ha! Feeble... hu... man." Zim crashed right beside him.

Gaz looked up from her Game Slave 2 and sighed. "The stuff I have to put up with." She got up and dragged Dib home, Leaving Zim in all his glory.

Meanwhile Gir had just landed in the center of the earth. Which surprisingly looked like the other side of the planet... or maybe it was?

At that moment, group of little girls walked by Gir.

"Awwww." The group whined all together, and then they started to say things in a non-English language. Then one of the girls picked up Gir. "Kawaii!" (Can u guess where they are?)

"Master, would you like me to get rid of these distractions?"

"I like them! Where are the tacos?"

"Ta-Ko?" a girl seemed so confused.

"I MUST FIND THE TACOS!" Gir leaped out of the girls grasp and stormed down the street, his people close behind. (As always)

Zim woke in a painful state. His arm being asleep from him laying on it for hours.

"GIR! How long have I been lying here? GIR! Gir?"

Zim got up off the ground and started to look around his home. Once he concluded that Gir wasn't there, he left for Gir favorite spot. Krazy Taco.

"I'm going to murderize that _stupid _robot as soon as I get my claws on him! Grrr." Zim mumbled while he marched down to where Krazy Taco once was.

Zim was looking at his feet while he was walking so he never noticed Dib standing on the ledge of a cliff that was originally were Krazy Taco once stood.

WHAM!

Zim walked right into Dib and they both fell down, down, down, sideways, diagonally, up. All the while they were choking each others necks again.

"I—can't breath—u stupid—worm child—you!"

"Neither—can—I"

"Wait—I am—more—power—ful—than you!"

THWUMP!

(A/N Zim and Dib fell faster that Gir because of Gir's airheaddedness)

Zim and Dib landed on a hard cold surface. A group of giggling girl ran away at the sight of them.

"WAAIT! wheeze Where am I?!" Dib screamed after the scared girls.

"Come back you!" Zim grasped at the air trying to reach the girls that were long gone.

Gir was hopping around gleefully, being distracted by anything that had any sort of interest in him. This was a lot of things, considering he was a green dog... His human slaves were scouring the city looking for a Krazy Taco restaurant.

"Oooo!" Gir noticed a drug store and walked inside. "I'm going to take this for me ok?" and with that he left the store setting of every theft device owned.

A/N I really have to focus more on this. My chapters are all so short. (yeah.. the two that I have.) This turned out to b a very boring chapter. Like the first. Geesh I gotta get better at this. Plz review! I'm running out of ides!


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